This video seems a bit old but the information is quite interesting.
Have you ever had an argument with someone where it seemed like the other person took your words totally wrong? Their reaction didn’t even come close to the words you used?
It’s easy to see how that can happen if 55% or more of communication is actually done through the body, regardless of what is actually said. More than half of your message is carried out through your physical actions during the deliver of the words.
Many sales professionals work very hard at picking the right words but spend very little if any time going over their body language as they deliver their message. The best way to do something like this is by video taping an actual presentation or sales meeting. This can be a challenge but it’s well worth the effort.
You will be shocked when you see yourself on video during a client interaction and it will allow you to get a strong sense of what your prospects actually hear when they meet with you. Do you come across as arrogant and smug or meek and apologetic? Are you strong like bull or do you execute a power that is under control and trustworthy?
Most of all, are you likable? If you were that person would you like you as you watch yourself on video?
Your physical speech is more important than the words you choose and one of the keys to implementing good sales psychology in your sales process. Spend at least as much time editing your delivery as you do your message.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Have you ever tried an exercise like the one I mentioned above or the one in the video? What have you personally learned about body language and its affect on influencing others?
The post title is a quote from renowned author and researcher Robert Cialdini.
Most people misunderstand the idea of reciprocity. We almost always try to apply reciprocity by saying, “If you do this, I’ll give you that.” That is not reciprocity! It’s more like blackmail.
Reciprocity works when you willingly help someone to advance their agenda and they feel a natural human pull to return the favor.
“People say yes to those they owe.”
In another interview I read, Cialdini shares that the FBI is now using reciprocity in hostage negotiations. It used to be, “Send us the little girl and we’ll send you some food.” They now send in the food and then ask the hostage taker to release the little girl and they are seeing a higher degree of success.
Reciprocity (properly leveraged) is a powerful tool for influence in any business market. But it should be applied as a cornerstone of your marketing and business model.
I’ve posted a video interview of Cialdini where he further explains the subtle power of the psychological principal of reciprocity below and I’d love to get your comments: